I really like being able to post about things that have happened through the week or if I just need some advice. This week I kind of need some good advice. It has been a rough couple of months so let me start from the beginning.
I was married right of high school and had my oldest son. It ended in divorce. He was my high school sweetheart and we basically just grew apart. We get along great now and my son has a good relationship with his dad. He is extremely close to his grandparents. (His dad’s parents) I always joked that my son’s grandpa was closer to him than his own father. He called him daily and they did everything together. I mean everything! They hunted, fished, camped, worked, built things, collected things, you name it and they did it. His grandpa was his world. On January 31st I got the dreaded phone call. His grandpa died in his sleep. He had a massive heart attack. He had never had never had any problems before this. He was such a great man. I got along with them so good. It was nice to still be able to be so close to my ex in-laws and my son’s grandparents that he thought the world of. My son is 9 so he is old enough to understand what happened to his grandpa. He was with his dad the Friday it happened. They were traveling to Rolla to see my son’s stepmother’s parents. They barely got there when they got the call and had to turn around. My son, Conner, called me about 8:00 that morning and was hysterically crying. He was so heartbroken. I felt like there was no way I could take away the pain. He had a very hard time during the visitation and funeral and the weeks following. He started to get a little better and just recently has started having major meltdowns again. He is so depressed. I don’t know what to do. As a mother, I want to be able to take away his pain and in this case I can’t. He has been able to spend time with him grandma. In a lot of ways they help each other. She tells me all the time she couldn’t get through this without Conner. He was only 60 years old. I guess I just need some advice as to what I need to do? This is very traumatic for a young child. He has never felt pain like he is now. He is so young to have to lose the closest thing to him other than a parent. I know it will take him a long time for his little heart to heal but I am worried about him. Is a counselor a bad idea?
Growing up, my brother was real close to our grandpa (my step-dad's father). Since we lived next door to our grandparents, my brother was able to go over there whenever he wanted. They did everything together and my brother thought the world of him. He passed away on Mother's Day 7 years ago, when my brother was 15. That was the first time I had really seen my brother cry hard. He was devastated and it made me sad to see him so upset. We helped each other through this heartbreak by being there for each other and just remembering all the good times with grandpa. Now that my brother is 21, he has gotten a tattoo with his grandpa's name to commemorate his memory. Lol. We all deal with heartbreak in our own way, but it's the people around us that help us get through it all.
ReplyDeleteIt will take a while for your son to feel better. Just be there for him and talk to him about things. I'm not sure how he is with talking about his grandpa being gone, but it always helped us. Just focus on the memories and tell him it's OK to cry.